changing s- or moving something like that in the hospital. [mhm.] and that it's not a normal thing... ɪ- it's possible to have another stroke. [m:...] do you really want to (.) think you might end up even worse:? [m:...] because of this: or? so of course I don't want that. [yeah.] so this is where I am right now. it's like they're sayin' this stuff you can't use. [gestures towards right arm] and you're not gonna be able to (.) lift it and stuff like that. and I'm goin' like hm: I don't know... [shakes finger] [yeah yeah.] and that brain... mhm. [yepp.] I wonder... [yeah.] and so here I am. learning to pick my arms up here. [lifts right arm up] learning to put my stuff in the back. learning (.) stuff to say hello to you [lifts arms up] and shake. [stretches arm out] um (.) things like that... that are like oh I thought we couldn't do that. [laughs] [are you workin' with a physical therapist?] yes I am. [nods] [oh good.] mhm. [good.] I have a wonderful wonderful young woman (.) who (..) heard about (.) the stuff. and she said okay well I guess what were going to be doing is (.) learn (.) how to (..) do this differently. [hm.] how are we gonna figure it out so that you can lift your arms and do some things and get your life so that you feel like your life [effortful] is going to be okay. [mhm mhm.] you know that was after a very long time of crying. [imitates crying] [yeah yeah yeah.] [laughs] so um she's a person who (...) believes in (.) whatever's gonna happen. [yeah yeah good.] yeah. [well I'm glad you're connected with her.] yes. [and with Fabby's group.] yes. [that's excellent.] [well um I'd like to hear you talking for a couple more minutes.] [maybe you could tell me about your favorite job since you've worked in various...] my favorite job? [your favorite job.] um I think my favorite job was um... (..) I was walking around on fourth (..) and you know looking at pretty things and stuff. and I went into this place um that had all these wonderful [distorted first and last sound] x sil:ver things. [gestures for things] and there was a young (..) man. and you know I was looking. I don't know why I thought of this... I said you know does anyone ever teach people how to do this? [yeah.] and she said are you interested? and I said out of no where yes. [gestures being shocked] and she said well um I'm really looking for somebody (.) to (.) teach. [mhm.] and so I m- met his [effortful] (.) wife also. [hm.] and they were in their twenties I would say. [oh wow.] and I was oh I don't know maybe in my thirties. [uhuh.] and so they started teaching me. and that was the most wonderful thing that I ever did. is them teaching me how to um learn to do silver things. and I was very interested also because of the Indian (.) part of me. [m: mhm...] and um (.) so it was I think the most wonderful (.) part (.) of my whole life. was great. but then also (.) on and off I worked with kids. [gestures for alternating] and to begin with I learned with them that were deaf. so I had to learn about (.) deaf. and I had to learn (.) to be able to (.) sign. [gestures sign language] and that was a wonderful thing. and I worked with them for a long time. [mhm.] and then I... I think that was (.) you know I don't know... that was after [nods] learning of the um (..) silver. because then you'd start x things keep doing two or θrɪŋs at a time. and then um... (..) so anything that was on and off blədədə. and then (.) eventually I wanted to go to Oregon. I just loved Oregon. and yeah. I eventually did it. [mhm.] and while I was there (.) um trying to find a place to... (..) I found a place to live. and then I needed to have somewhere to work. and (.) um (.) they said... oh I went to A A R P. [m:.] because I was old enough for them to start helping me. and so I started doing all kinds of things [hm] (.) through A A R P. w- w- working on other people. and it was getting down to the end of how much they could help you. [hm...] I think it was a year they could keep doing. she said you know you're really getting down to that part. and um she said there's a place (.) um (..) uh with kids. [hm.] and you might like this seeing as you've done this before. so anyway I went in blədədə... so I start working with the kids. but then that was my end of that thing. and so (.) um it was getting towards the end of um (...) christmas. [hm.] and I said you know what I love what I'm doing. I'll s- stay without (.) pay or anything and kinda finish it up for that. and so I did. and um I told the guy when I left um you know here's my name... [imitates giving name] um (.) I really love this (.) place. and I love with the kids. and you know let me know if you really want somebody to work. [mhm.] well um so that was maybe over a month with that. and um (.) I also was a crazy person with reading. and so I went over to the (..) l- l- oh what is that? is that an l? the library. and I was in there (.) and looking at stuff. and I saw one of the kids... x one of the oldest ones. and they said where have you been? I said I'm (.) home. [laughs] they said they have been trying to find you for this last month. [hm...] and I said well I gave them my number and everything. she said xxx whatever. she said um you should call (.) when you get home. and so I went home. and I called. and they said oh my god we've been trying to find you. we have a full time (.) place for you if you're interested. and I said absolutely. and said do I need to go in? um (..) and do whatever? and she said no we'll take you. [wow.] she said when can you start? I said... that was a friday. I said I'd be there on Monday. she said great. and so that's what I did. [oh that's great.] and then I was there (..) um until it was a um (..) summer. [mhm...] and that's when I started feeling not really good. [m:...] and you know we finished. and actually you know when you get to all together at the end of the (..) summer and you see all of y- you know your people. [yeah.] and they get together (.) and see you eat or have something for lunch and not see each other for the next (.) month and a half or whatever... I said no. that's how bad I felt. [m:hm...] and so right from that time something just wasn't good. [m:...] and I was exhausted. and anyway within (..) weeks there (.) um I started feeling very (.) um not good. and I didn't realize that I was laying down (.) and I thought sleeping. (sounded choppy) m- m- I didn't realize that. once I was gone for two days. [hm...] um (.) so then xx it even got worse with that. cause æf- for two (..) days [effortful] of that... not having enough water and then start messing up my kidneys. and x then I woke up in the middle of the night. and I thought wow I'm really hungry. and I went. and I looked. and my (.) kitchen (.) was (.) all over the place. [hm...] and it was open. and it was hot. [oh...] and I was like oh my god. uh that's when I musta had a stroke. or maybe two in there. [oh...] didn't even know. [oh wow.] and um (.) so (.) I knew something was very wrong. and um I had to get somebody to you know come and help me. and then that was a horrible thing because the person brought me home. (.) [hm...] and said I'll pick you up tomorrow. [hm...] and they picked me up. and we went did somethin' else. and they said okay we're gonna bring you home. and we'll help you again tomorrow. and in my brain I'm thinking (.) something's very wrong. shouldn't you be taking me to the hospital? [m:...] but at that time (.) I didn't realize. or maybe I did I don't know... there's that whole thing you don't know... [yeah.] um (.) anyway I would really have to say I hate this person. [m:...] because they could have brought me home [aw] (..) two three days with that. so I ended up with three strokes. [oh...] until my other friend came home... [uhuh.] she had been away... came back said where's [REDACTED]? they said ah [REDACTED]'s you know home. she's x not feeling good. you know we were there a couple of times. and xx they said what happened? [imitates conversation] she said well ugh (..) you didn't take her to the hospital? [m:...] she said well n- we just brought her home and thought she'd feel better. and so anyways... she came. and she asked me a couple questions. and she said you had a stroke. [wow.] you need to go to the hospital right now. [yeah yeah.] and so they got me there. thank god for my friend [yes] and her husband. [yes right ugh.] and it was just a horrible thing. because besides that of not putting there she stoled me so much of my stuff. [hm...] she stoled əm. [hm.] and it took me a long time for me to f- (.) figure out wasn't here. and so that's my story.